Understanding the feelings and mindset of another in the moment and also hearing what is behind those feelings so you increase your influence in moments that follow. It brings your attention to the emotional obstacles and the potential pathways to getting an agreement done. Through active listening and closely observing a personâs face, gestures and tone of voice our brain begins to align with theirs in a process called neural resonance. This can be practiced by imagine you are a talking person and visualizing yourself in the position they describe1.
âempathy is not about being nice or agreeing with the other side. Itâs about understanding them. Empathy helps us learn the position the enemy is in, why their actions make sense (to them), and what might move them.â
Labeling is particular way of empathizing with the person.
1. Voss, C. & Raz, T. Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. (Harper Business, New York, 2016).