Labeling is when you spot feelings, turn them into words, and respectfully repeat them back to person. This validates and acknowledges the other party’s emotion.
- The first step to labeling is detecting the other person’s emotional state. This is often done by observing how people react to what you say.
- Label the emotion using “It seems like..”“It sounds like…””It looks like..” which phrases the label as a neutral observation, rather than your observation “I think you you feel X”… which makes the person feel you are concerned with yourself. a. If the other person disagrees you can
- Silence (allow the other person to react and reveal themselves)
Labeling helps the other person to feel appreciated and understood.
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1. Voss, C. & Raz, T. Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. (Harper Business, New York, 2016).