• Feedback Model 1
    • Ask: “Can I give you some feedback?”
    • Describe Specific Behavior
    • Describe the impact of the behavior. “Here’s what happens…”
    • Discuss next steps: behavior should continue in positive examples, how to prevent negative behavior in the future. “What are you going to do about this?”

The above proposed model shares many aspects with a Non-violent communication model.

  • When feedback is met with no, use this as an opportunity to stay curious about the other’s state and empathize with them 2.
  • When setting consequences, they should be based on your needs (or the organization) rather than an attempt to be punitive.
  • The 40-word rule 2

During difficult conversations, it’s important to be extremely concise. Aim to describe your observations, feelings, needs, and requests in fewer than 40 words


Auzenne, M. & Hortsman, M. Giving Effective Feedback - Part 1 (Hall Of Fame Guidance) | Manager Tools. at
Bailey, D. How to Deliver Constructive Feedback in Difficult Situations. at (2019).