- Feedback Model1
- Ask: “Can I give you some feedback?”
- Describe Specific Behavior
- Describe the impact of the behavior. “Here’s what happens…”
- Discuss next steps: behavior should continue in positive examples, how to prevent negative behavior in the future. “What are you going to do about this?”
The above proposed model shares many aspects with a Non-violent communication model.
- When feedback is met with no, use this as an opportunity to stay curious about the other’s state and empathize with them2.
- When setting consequences, they should be based on your needs (or the organization) rather than an attempt to be punitive.
- The 40-word rule2
During difficult conversations, it’s important to be extremely concise. Aim to describe your observations, feelings, needs, and requests in fewer than 40 words
1. Auzenne, M. & Hortsman, M. Giving Effective Feedback - Part 1 (Hall Of Fame Guidance) Manager Tools.
2. Bailey, D. How to Deliver Constructive Feedback in Difficult Situations. (2019).